Joseph Kony is a man who made kind, and smart kids into an army, and there are over thirty thousand kids in this army, and they are ordered to kill their own parents. If the children try to escape, Joseph Kony kills the child who tried to escape. This April, a man named Jason Russell showed his video, called Kony 2012, to the world. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4MnpzG5Sqc. In the video, he says Joseph Kony has to be stopped, and we must stop him by making him famous. Right now, there is a group called the Invisible Children, and their purpose is to stop Joseph Kony by making him famous, and they are trying to persuade us to send few dollars a month to help childrens in Uganda to study. I agree with that opinion that we should stop Joseph Kony by making him famous. I have following reasons.
First, if we make Kony famous, and show him that we are going to find him, he will be afraid to kidnap the childrens, and then make them into an army. If he stops getting children, they will be safer. Even though he might not get caught, we can save more lives by making him famous. If he has less childrens for his army, then he will loose power.
Nest, if Kony becomes very famous, then he will loose him partners. Nobody can do something as bad as Joseph Kony all alone. Joseph Kony must have some partners who helps him to kidnap thirty thousand children! if we success at making Joseph Kony famous, and show him that we will going to get him, then his partners willbe afraid to work with Kony, because if one of them gets caught, they will get serious punishments, so they will leave Joseph Kony, and then Kony will loose his power evantually. If he looses power to kidnap or control the young army he made, the children army will try to fight aainst Kony, by having a revellion against Joseph Kony, and because of that, he will loose power.
Also, because it is important to save the children than catching Joseph Kony, so we should make him famous. If we don't make Joseph Kony famous, then he will kidnap more childrens every year, and it will be easier to cath Kony. But, if we not make him famous, then more childrens will suffer because of Joseph Kony, so we must make him famous, to make childrens safer.
Now, I will tell you why not making Kony famous is wrong.
First, if we don't make him famous, he will never going to stop his evil deed. Now, because the video 'Kony 2012' is showed to the world, Joseph Kony is not kidnapping childrens anymore, so now, children in Uganda is safe, but if the video wasn't shown to the world, then the children in Uganda will suffer very much.
Finally, if we do not make him famous, then people will not be able to know about him. If people does not know about Joseph Kony, then they will not try to stop him. In the video 'Kony 2012', the politicians didn't agreed about stopping Joseph Kony by sending the U.S. army when the people didn't know about Joseph Kony, but when lots of people were demanding to send U.S. army to Uganda, the president agreed.
So, I think making Joseph Kony arrested by making him famous is a good idea.
Thank you Robin. The essay is well-written but repetitive in places. Try adding a space between the paragraphs. Also, adding pictures will make the blog more interesting.
ReplyDeleteYou make some good arguments in the essay. Remember to also include the opinion of those who disagree with you and a rebuttal for that.
Keep up the good work!
Hi. Your writing TA Sohyeon here. I think you have lots of good ideas and have the ability to express them as well. A confusion that you seem to have is between loose and lose. Look the words up in the dictionary. The word you're looking for is lose, but you wrote loose. Also, your first argument should be a separate paragraph.
ReplyDeleteGood job :)